Do you know how many times in the Bible it says to not be afraid?
77 – in the NIV version.
So you’d think we’d get it by now, right?
Think about all the times God has provided in tough situations, or given strength when it felt as if there was none left, and given grace when it wasn’t deserved. He never fails us. So why would we ever think that He could?
I’m finally getting started with my college classes after taking some time off since graduating high school. The time off was great. I had a chance to do some things I had wanted to do and take a break from a demanding schedule. But I was also excited to get started with college. So I spent quite a bit of time investigating my options and making my decision. By the time I was committed and registered for classes, I was so relieved to have a decision and optimistic about the plan.
But then I saw the syllabus for my first class. I was terrified. And I was thoroughly convinced I was in over my head.
Later, my mom told me it was normal for college students to feel overwhelmed when they first start. I’m not sure if this is really true or if she was just trying to make me feel better. I guess I’ll just assume it’s true so I can feel better.
But the truth is, this is scary stuff and I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing.
I am inadequate. I am incapable. I feel so fragile.
Yet, I don’t even have enough fingers, toes or hairs on my head to count the times the Lord has carried me through difficult situations. He’s been enough even when I didn’t realize that I wasn’t. And He certainly was when I did know of my lacking.
So this is no different. Because you could take out that word, “college,” and easily insert any of the vast number of words on your mind right now. But it wouldn’t change a thing about what He does for us. He never changes.
Why is it so much easier to doubt it than believe it? We put so much faith in our own abilities and pressure on ourselves to prove something; maybe to prove that what we have is enough and that we can do this by ourselves. But we aren’t enough and we can’t do this by ourselves. And that’s okay.
We weren’t meant to do life by ourselves.
I don’t know what’s going to happen over the next several years. I do know that it’s going to be hard and I’m going to have to work hard. I do know it’s still going to be terrifying. Although, I also know that I don’t have to be afraid because He is everything I need and He gives me everything I need. That promise may not feel like much in the moment of overpowering worry, but it’s what I hold onto when everything is overwhelming. It’s everything when I feel like I have nothing to offer. And it’s true.